Kerry Docherty, co-founder of the lifestyle brand Faherty, challenges conventional parenting wisdom in her new memoir "Selfish: Unlearning, Reclaiming, and Telling the Truth." Docherty argues that a form of selfishness, when practiced with intention, actually fuels better parenting and family relationships.
The book explores how mothers often lose themselves in caregiving responsibilities, sacrificing their own needs, creativity, and happiness. Docherty frames this as a problem worth examining. She advocates for what she calls "radical honesty" with ourselves and our families about what we actually need to thrive.
Docherty's argument challenges the guilt many parents carry when prioritizing their own wellbeing. Research supports her perspective. Studies from parenting psychologists show that parents who maintain their own interests, friendships, and creative pursuits model healthier behavior for children and experience lower stress and depression rates. When mothers suppress their own needs entirely, the result often surfaces as resentment, burnout, or disconnection from family life.
The memoir uses Docherty's own experience building Faherty while raising a family to illustrate how unbridled creativity and professional ambition don't conflict with good parenting. Instead, she demonstrates how pursuing meaningful work alongside family responsibilities creates a fuller, more authentic life.
Docherty's approach centers on honest communication with children about realistic limits and parental humanity. Rather than presenting herself as endlessly available or self-sacrificing, she shows her kids that adults have needs, boundaries, and passions. This teaches children emotional honesty and prevents them from internalizing the myth that love requires self-erasure.
The radical honesty Docherty emphasizes extends beyond personal needs into difficult conversations. Acknowledging mistakes, expressing emotions, and admitting when parents don't have answers builds trust and resilience in